Vita, Pensieri, Parole

One year ago today, Lady Ro's (Lynn Hunter) light was extinguished and the world made a darker place because of it.

I ask that those of you who are her friends and of a religious bent, please say a prayer for her soul's repose. Those of you who aren't religious or didn't know her, please just think happy thoughts and well-wishes that her journey to her next destination is swift and light.

Thank you.

-Drake (AKA The Crusader)

Hello everyone, The Crusader here.

I've something I want to share with the people who meant so much to Ro. At first, I wasn't sure I should, since I think it's likely that some folks won't "get it", and might misunderstand or misinterpret it. This is mostly intended for those of you, to quote Willy Wonka, who are "the music makers and the dreamers of dreams." If my gesture seems silly or childish to you, that's okay; it wouldn't be the first time something I did was called that.

I'll explain more after the cut, but for now, I simply present to you:

Rowan & Alysandir

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Good morning everyone, Drake (The Crusader) here,

Today would have been Ro's 56th birthday. Happy birthday, beloved.

Fifty-five is far too young to die. Even if you're still lucky enough to be one of those snot-nosed kids who thinks turning 40 makes you old, keep in mind that Ro's mother lived to almost 80. That's *twenty-five* years that Ro's genetics could have kept her alive for, and maybe even longer, given that her mother died from a long battle with emphasema, and not old age. Ro's heart was strong, her blood pressure fantastic, her cholesterol good; by all rights she should still be chugging along full steam. Even more staggering is the fact that Ro was diagnosed with cancer shortly after her *49th birthday*. If that isn't a sobering thought for most of us out there, I don't know what is.

Could she have done anything to prevent the cancer from happening? Probably not.

Could she have done anything to improve her chances of survival? ABSOLUTELY.

Ro's cancer originally presented itself as a tumor on the inside of her lower intestine, in the area of the colon. By the time it was discovered, it had grown large enough to completely block her colon, and more importantly, had expanded to her lymphatic system, greatly increasing the odds that it would metasticize, which it ultimately did. That tumor did not get there overnight; it had been growing and forming over the course of *years*, with Ro none the wiser.

If Ro only had scheduled regular yearly colonoscopies, recommended for *anyone* over the age of 40, she could have:

- spared herself from six years of chemotherapy and radiation and all the painful side effects and discomfort that came with it. And believe me when I say that it was a lot worse for her than she let on to *anyone*, except for me.
- spared herself from over two dozen surgeries and three dozen hospital stays overall.
- lived another 2 to 3 *decades* in the company of her friends, family, and loving husband.

But she didn't. She was uncomfortable with the idea of someone sticking anything in her behind, despite the fact that the procedure is painless and she would have been sedated the entire time. Too embarrassing. Too invasive. Well let me tell you, not a day went by over those six years that neither she, nor I, regretted not doing that simple 30 minute screening once a year. I'm just as much to blame. I knew the risks, I knew she should be doing it, but I never forced the issue because I figured it would never happen to her. Now I have to live with that, and without her, for the rest of my life.

Please...don't let my wife's death be in vain. Learn from her tragedy, and get yourself screened for colon cancer if you're over 40. Your loved ones will thank you for it.

-Drake

Ro's viewing will be held at Beall Funeral Home in Bowie, MD (address below) on Friday from 2-4pm and again at 6-8pm. Ro's funeral Mass will be held at St. Jerome's Church in Hyattsville, MD (address below) at 10am on Saturday. Ro has requested to be cremated, so there will not be a graveside service following the Mass.

Mapquest.com does a very good job with directions to both these locations:

Beall Funeral Home
6512 Crain Hwy Bowie, MD 20715, US
301-805-5544

St. Jerome's Church
5205 43rd Ave Hyattsville, MD 20781, US
301-927-6684

In lieu of flowers, we ask that people make a donation in Ro's name (Lynn M. Hunter) to her favorite charity, the Humane Society of the United States. Donations can be made by following this link: https://secure.hsus.org/01/makeadonation

I want to personally thank everyone for their sympathy and kind words during this very difficult time. I cannot adequately describe how I feel right now; the English language doesn't have the words for it. I am grateful that Ro touched so many peoples' lives because that means her memory will continue to live on and serve as inspiration or comfort when each of us face our own struggles and challenges in trying to negotiate this often difficult world we live in. But I am with all of you when I say that I already miss her dearly.

I don't know how many of you consider yourself to be religious or spiritual people, I frankly don't know where I am on that scale right now, but for what it is worth... My mother, who stayed over last night because she did not want me to be alone, said that at one point she woke up and was aware of someone heading up the stairs, and knew it was not me, because or stairs creak whenever someone goes up/down them. She can't/won't describe for me what she saw, but she insists that she was not dreaming and insists that it was Lynn. When she got up to head up stairs, she found nothing. But she fervently believes that it was Lynn heading up stairs to check on me, and believe me when I say that my mother is neither terribly religious, nor holds any belief in mysticism or the occult, nor is prone to story-telling or imagination. So, take whatever comfort you wish from that; maybe it was a dream after all, or maybe Lynn's doing just fine and is looking after me.

-Drake

Hello everyone,

My name is Drake, and I am Lynn's (Lady Rowan's) husband. It is with deep sadness that I must tell you that Rowan has succumbed to her six-year battle with cancer this afternoon. She passed away in her sleep and did not suffer.

I will be posting viewing and funeral mass information here sometime tomorrow for her friends in the Maryland area.

Thank you for keeping my wife in your thoughts and prayers.

-Drake

been trying to figure out a way to post this, but there is no easy way.

The cancer has exploded. Without a iracle, my time is limited. I spent 11 days in the hospital, there is no surgeryn thatnwill help - only a miracle.

I;m praying hard for one - please do so also. I am not ready to go.

Again, I apologize for the bluntness of this entry - there just isn't any other way to say this.

Yes, I am a geek. And I adore Anthony Steward Head.... You have been warned

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Thank you for what you have done. Because of you (and men like my Dad - God rest his soul), I am free and I live in the greatest country in the world.

No matter how badly the politicians screw things up and screw us over, it is folks like you who make this country worth living in.

My Dad (and Mom) always impressed upon me that to live in America was a privilege. One that called for a payment, which might be as simple as voting or sitting on a jury, but might be as complex and dangerous as being called to put my body on the line.

Thank the mercy of God, I was never called to be a soldier. And thank you for taking care of that duty for me.

The cancer is resisting the Xeloda and Erbitux, so we are switching to another chemo. Luckily, cancer has a short memory and forgets what has been done before, so it's back on infusion and oxiliplatin. Bummer. At least this time there are meds to deal with the oxiliplatin side effects.

Also looks like some radiation for the lump on the side. On the CATscan it offers a density that could be cancer. Also some nodes in the belly that could be cancer or lymphedema - no way to tell, so erring on the side of caution, we are switching treatments.

So prayers, dear ones, as always. We will sort out this bump in the road, and persevere forward.

Ya'll ain't getting rid of me yet....

Was not a good day.

Second anniversary of Mom's death, and I still miss her so much. Are you ever old enough to lose your Mom? Not in my case.

I could have gone to Jeff and Rie's open house, but I did not want to inflict me on other folks - it was bad enough that I bedeviled The Crusader with my mood.

Today I am a little better and am going out to TAG - up at Lady Wynne's.

I did 6 miles on the bike in 22 minutes - the last 2 minutes and 1/2 mile were to hit 200 miles on my Walk to Rivendell. I am almost half way to Rivendell! And I have achieved almost 37 miles out of the 50 I pledged to exercise by 11/14. I'm shocked that I've actually exercised every day since 10/29!

Anyone who is interested the Walk to Rivendell is a yahoo group based off of this website:

http://shieldmaidens.net/mileagedatabase/index.php

I lead such a glamourous life, don't I?

And if you haven't already - turn your clocks back!

Twit finally called and I have PETscan appt for end of Nov. and next appt with oncologist. I didn't even have to get nasty. That's a SCORE!

Tomorrow is going to be busy - shots for Winterbritches (he SOOOO has Daddy wrapped....) and CATscan for me.

Plus pick up antibiotics for infected toe - I had my first ingrown toenail! I feel so grown-up. (Snerk)

Did get the 3rd quarter report done and balanced. Stupid double entry error - which is what I knew it was - just couldn't find it, til I started training Jarratt and then it LEAPT out at me. D'uh - pass the donuts, Homer.

And now, to bed. I can't keep my eyes open. Which is ODD. I slept til almost 10 AM today....tomorrow I get up the first time I open my eyes and it's light out.

BUT, I have faithfully exercised every day since Sunday - I've done almost 14 miles on the recumbant bike. My goal is to do 3.6 miles per day for 2 weeks - which will get me 2 new shields on the Eowyn Challenge and make my goal of 50 miles for the Walk to Rivendell mini-challenge.

I feel so virtuous!

The frellin' receptionist at the oncologists office sent me to the WRONG office for my CATscan. The correct office can't take me til Thursday.

She has not called me back with my PETscan appointment. She was supposed to call YESTERDAY.

I am so tired of incompetence I could cry.

So tomorrow I get on the phone and end up being "the bad guy" because I have to be firm with her about making the appointment NOW.

This is the 2nd time she's not followed thru with her job. One more strike and her boss gets one of my infamous "letters".

And I don't care if it costs her her job. You don't get to fart around with MY health.

Just back from the oncologist. I have a lump (?) on one side of my abdomen, and am having a cat scan tomorrow.

Let's all PRAY it's nothing, please and thank you.

...which is the award I jokingly tried to have Baroness Martelle give to those of us who labored upstream (95-N) to Rocks on Friday night.

6 freaking hours to do a 2 hour (at BEST)trip. Argh.

Camping: Never EVER again unless I have a cabin where I invite the occupants or my own pavillion. Could not sleep, bed hard and NO SHOWER on Saturday morning. WHO DO I KILL????

Troll: Domina Szilagy Margit and I worked most of the day with some assistance by the fabulous Lady Ingeborj and Lady Yseulte. I taught my lady Nichola to do count out. (One job down, 1 to go on the Teaching of the Mysteries of Exchequer-hood.) Went nicely - Lord Corwin gave us short breaks for things and we did quite well.

Camping: Did I mention Never Again?

Food: Super! Well cooked, well seasoned, tasty, mostly hot when it should be hot and cold when it should be cold. Yummyness ensued.

Booze: Oh My Gawd..... I have Some Willpower, or I would sucked down an entire bottle of desert mead entered into the brewing contest. Since there were not enough baronial entries, I have been asked to remain as Baronial Brewer for the coming year. And Now I Have A Cunning Plan....

Event: A Fine time despite enough rain to drown Noah. People had fun - when some events had to be cancelled for safety reasons, people made their own fun! I'm only sorry I had to leave after feast...it seems I missed the singing and story-telling. Next year!

Site: This may be heresy,as I know a lot of folks have deep attachments to Rocks, but I think the site sucks. But I go where the barony goes, and since I didn't do any of the work to procure a site, I'll deal. I know that next year's TnT is being planned for Rocks. I'm not camping - you hear me?

All in all a very good event.

And I hurt today....

is now named Winter.

Much more dignified than what I was calling him - "Smudgelet".

Because he is a little bitty of a kitty....

And he is The Crusader's boy, so far. DADDY gets kitten kisses. I get purrs but no kisses.

Ah well, I get kisses from both huskies and Miss Ria...mustn't be selfish.

So The Crusader comes home RAVING about this kitten he saw at Pet Smart in the Adoption Center. (This is, BTW, the man who claims to HATE cats.) I told him we would go look at him today.

We get over there and kitten is gone - adopted last night.

So what the HELL are we doing with a 3 month old speck of purring white fur, with a smudge on the top of his head???? THIS is not the cat The Crusader wanted. "I'm not crazy about white cats."

Then the girl puts White Kitten in his arms. White Kitten interviews well, in the Crusader's words. WK flips onto his back and purrs for all he is worth.

The Crusader and I are goners.

Avalanche has YET to figure out there's a new kitten in the house, Ares is completely disinterested, Ria is hanging out with Mom, (both cats have run from all 3 lbs of him!)and Nameless White Kitten ha figured out the baby gate and is currently 'sploring the first floor.

Except he has now decided to check out the basement....

We have rocks in our heads.

since still stomach issues altho (Thank you, Lord!) no more ralphing.

I have a stomach virus, here take ANOTHER medication, finish everything Doc in the box gave you, and pain WILL go away.

WHEN? I wanna know.

Ate 3" of a 6" tuna sub today, and am having MORE STOMACH ISSUES. I forsee a LOT of chicken noodle soup in my future.

But, down to 196! Not perhaps the best way to achieve weight loss, but I will take what I can get. Not like going with minimal caloric intake for a few days is gonna hurt me all that badly. And at least I kept down all the meds today.

So far....

And for the record, I HATE BEING SICK.

The Crusader and I have been ill all week - up until last night, him more so than I.

I have had a sore throat all week, and yesterday, when I could not get to a regular doctor, he took me to a Doc in the Box. Said Doc was great, and I'm going back to talk to him and see if he has a private practice. He was TERRIFIC!!!!!!!!!!

I have infected sinuses, fluid build-up behind the ears, and all of this contributes to the sore throat.

UNFORTUNATELY, something he prescribed really set me off and I have been vomiting since 9 last night. It let up around 4 this morning and I got about 3 1/2 hours sleep before it started up again. Still in the 'oh, Ghod, I would feel better if I could throw up" stage, but after consultation with The World's Best Mother-in-Law, am doing my best to break that cycle.

Needless to say, because I was too stupid to come downstairs to the living room, I managed to wake The Crusader everytime I got up to hurl (about a 20 minute cycle), and at 7:15 the animals got into it. The night before I got about 4 hours of sleep, so I am dragging - he's very close behind me in the exhaustion category.

SOOOO, if I promised you something, please give me a little time to get over this before restarting the timer on me.

I think I need to go hurl again.....

that starts with a mushy card from The Crusader, saying he'd marry me all over again, be anything but wonderful? (Yes, I got leaky eyes...what else is new?)

And yesterday, the PETscan results show that the damned cancer is at least stable, so extra reason to be happy.

Then birthday wishes from warrior_gypsy, bwliadain, and an e card from Her Majesty bronx_baroness.

THIS is going to be MY year. I can feel it!

My brother just called - Mike Alloca died last week.

Mike lived next door to Mom for years. He was handsome, erudite, in great shape, taught at the Univ of Md and at Johns Hopkins. Apparently, he died Wed night after running - came home, sat down to watch the news and had a heart attack.

He didn't answer his phone Thur or Fri, and some friends came over and forced their way in and found him.

He was barely older than me. We are too young to die! This is really throwing me for a loop.

Eternal Rest, grant unto Micheal, oh Lord and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of Your grace, rest in peace.